Last Minute Valentine's Day Gift Guide | Men's Online Magazine - Briefed

Last Minute Valentine’s Day Gift Guide

You know Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark concocted cesspool of sappy sentimentalism mixed with outright corporate greed, and although you would really like to take a stand against this injustice, you’d rather get laid. To help you, here are some last minute gift ideas:

Feed Her: Daniel Le Chocolat Belge
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Perfect for the gal who prefers chocolate to sex (wait! You’re with a woman who prefers chocolate over sex?!), Daniel Chocolates has a number of gift boxes with chocolates that’r prepared with “all natural ingredients including the finest cocoa beans and 100 per cent pure cocoa butter”, not to be confused with 100% pure coca butter, which although great for baking, leaves you licking the butter knife for hours.

Feed her like Johnny Depp at DanielChocolates.Com

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Dress Her: La Vie On Rose Illusion
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One of the reasons you’re with your girl is that you actually like the way she looks in the light, as opposed to some of those “evening only” girls you’ve encountered over the years.  See more of your girl, while getting naughty in the pitch black, with Le Vie en Rose’s Illusion line of lingerie, which includes a garter, bra and thong, each embroidered with a phosphorescent pale-pink and cream-floral pattern that will ensure you don’t skip over any important body parts when you’re conducting her annual Valentine’s Day physical.

Get her ready for your annual glow-in-the-dark hide and go seek competition with LaVieOnRose.com

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Take Her Picture: Secret Sessions by Magnolia Photographic
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Because the last time your girl asked for a secret session you thought she meant hot boxing your tree house, get her a boudoir photo shoot from Secret Sessions by Magnolia Photographic, where she’ll get a 1-hour photoshoot, a $100 in product credit (to be used towards an album, prints, etc.) and a private online gallery to view her sexified images. The best part: this gift is really for you.

Get a gift for her that in reality is for you at SecretSessions.ca

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Rub Oil On Her: Mijar Hamman Spa
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Show your girl how much you care about her by having another woman rub her body down with hot oils; and since she still won’t let you invite over that bi-curious blonde friend she met at yoga, send her to Mijar Hamman Spa instead. Better yet, join her at this Middle Eastern themed oasis conveniently located in Kits, where you’ll get a relaxing massage, steam, and exfoliation treatment. She’ll end up so relaxed she might not mind if yoga girl joins you for a post-spa nightcap.

Be a sultan this V-Day at MijarHammanSpa.Com