Gambling addicts, mount up! The greatest gambling day of the entire year is only a few days away and Briefed has you covered. But before we do, we must put in a disclaimer:
DISCLAIMER: If you read last year’s Super Bowl Prop Bet Guide, there’s a good chance you’re either still broke or looking at ways to refinance your mortgage. I apologize for this. In hindsight, throwing down a few thousand on Red Gatorade may not have been the soundest advice. Let’s hope this year is only slightly worse!
Now, there’s a pretty important game happening at Super Bowl 48 this Sunday, but this column has zero interest in that. This column is all about dissecting national anthem stats, studying Bruno Mars’ concert footage, and creeping Michael Crabtree’s Twitter feed. Now without further ado, lets find out how we’re losing our money this year.
Prop Bet: How long will it take Renee Fleming to sing the National Anthem?
The Over/Under: 2:25
How to bet it: Over
This year’s a bit tricky. While the NFL usually goes with a hot pop star to do the anthem (Hello Alicia Keys!), this year they opted for a renowned Opera singer in Renee Fleming. This sucks for a variety of reasons, but mainly because for the first time in years we won’t have a YouTube video to study. We’re flying blind here and this unofficially makes Renee Fleming the biggest X-Factor in Superbowl history.
4 of the last 6 Superbowl anthems have gone under 2 minutes, but last year’s stretched all the way to 2:35. What helps tip the scale for us is the realization that nothing is more patriotic than Peyton Manning and an epic flyover in Bruce Springsteen’s hometown. For America’s sake, this moment deserves to be longer than 2:25. Hold that last note Renee, we’re counting on you.
Prop Bet: Will Knowshon Moreno cry during the National Anthem?
The Odds: Yes (+250) / No (-400)
How to bet it: Yes (+250)
Watch this GIF. That is Knowshon Moreno crying. During a National Anthem. Before a REGULAR SEASON game. REGULAR SEASON. Did you see those tears? Does that look like a man who can handle his emotions? +250. All day.
Prop Bet: Will the announcers say the word “marijuana” during the game?
The Odds: Yes (+350) / No (-600)
How to bet it: Sadly, No (-600).
We all want this to happen. It’s Denver vs. Seattle and the name of the game has the word bowl in it. This more or less seems like an open invitation for the broadcasters to at least graze the subject of getting stoned. However, there’s a better chance of Peyton Manning ripping a bong toke mid game than Joe Buck or Troy Aikman broaching the pot subject. Ash out the money you made off Renee Fleming into this bet and ride high with this investment.
Prop Bet: What song will Bruno Mars perform fist?
The Bet: Locked out of heaven (4/5)
There are 7 options here but this definitely seems like the most tantalizing. According to setlist.fm, Bruno Mars generally opens the encore performance of his live shows with Locked Out of Heaven. Add that to the fact that two of his other mainstream live performances (SNL and Victoria Secret Fashion Show), he opened with Locked Out of Heaven and this bet becomes a tad bit juicier. Throw down all the money you made on Knowshon Moreno’s tears right here and secretly enjoy 15 solid minutes of Bruno Mars.
Prop Bet: What colour will the Gatorade shower be?
The Bet: Orange (3/1)
Right now, Clear is the favorite at (2/1). However, Clear Gatorade hasn’t been seen in the Superbowl for the last five years and we’re not optimistic it makes a return. Superbowl time is all about backing a winner and that’s why our advice is to go with Orange. 2 of the last 4 Superbowl coaches that were showered in Gatorade were done so in Orange. Orange knows how to get it done in the clutch. With a strong performance on Sunday, it can join the all time great colors (Red, Purple) as a go-to Gatorade flavour. This Superbowl is all about legacy for the Orange flavour and we say it delivers.
That’s it! Best of luck to everyone this gambling holiday season and let us know how you do.
God speed, Renee Fleming.
Story by @Jammer19