Perfecting Your Profile: The Selfie Edition | Men's Online Magazine - Briefed

Perfecting Your Profile: The Selfie Edition


At best, the excessive use of selfies gives off the impression that you have no friends; at worst, you come across as incredibly self-absorbed.

Neither of those are good things, FYI. It’s also straight-up awkward to see people checking themselves out, let alone whatever expression they seem to think looks hot on them.

That being said, many online daters follow the mantra “no-pic-no-reply” so here are some rules for selfie-ing, if you must.

Rule No. 1 Take a step back

Your face shouldn’t be all up in my face. And, in this case, distance will make the heart grow fonder. Trust me.

There’s nothing worse than someone filling up my entire iPhone screen. I don’t care how attractive you are, it’s just not a good look.

Pro tip: widen those crop parameters (they’re usually preset way too tight anyway). This is especially important for OkCupid users since the thumbnail versions of your profile pictures are what people see first.


Rule No. 2 Mix it up

Variety is key.

Limit yourself to one shot per cliché (car, bathroom mirror, webcam etc).

You took way more than one, we know, but there’s no need to draw attention to just how long you stood there staring at yourself.

I don’t care how subtly-different your facial expressions are either. Less is more. And in some cases one solid selfie is better than three or four that are just too much of the same. Same location, same posture, same clothes—you don’t want people to get sick of you before they’ve even met you.


Rule No. 3 Filter that shit

You have no excuse when it comes to quality. Nowadays everyone has a smart phone and there are tons of free apps to tinker with.

Crappy pictures = Betraying the fact that you don’t have a smart phone (or are incompetent with the one you have) = You are not like everyone else = You may be weird… like, bad weird.

Again, your goal isn’t to stand out because standing out in this particular way will do nothing to reassure girls, who are wary enough of online strangers, that you aren’t secretly a psychopath.


Rule No. 4 Lighten up

Contrary to conventional advice, bright and friendly smiles are a safer bet than something dark and brooding. Remember, this is online, not real life. Mysterious can be easily misread as shady as fuck.

Ditch the try-hard “sexy” face and aim instead for a simple I’m-not-going-to-rape-and-murder-you look. To help achieve this, step into the light of day. Sure, it’s embarrassing to be seen posing in public but that’s a small price to pay for not looking like a total shut-in.


Rule No. 5 Edit responsibly

While I’ve been stressing the importance of putting effort into your profile, don’t make me have to write a follow-up article on the Instagram Effect and how you can’t get a second date because of your too-perfect online persona.

Being yourself is important. Always.

If you’re looking for something real, you should strive to be that way too.


This article was written by a local young lady who’d rather not have you trolling her Facebook page